Love and the Expert

Hello Random Readers!

So I’ve been watching a whole lot of Matthew Hussey lately. A love guru and relationship expert who just knows so much about dating and, well, “How to Get the Guy”. Ok, I’ll admit it also helps that he’s incredibly handsome and has the most amazing English accent! 😀

When I first fell upon one of his videos I have to say I was impressed; here’s a guy letting women in on the secrets to men. Giving us answers to questions we have all asked ourselves at some point or another: “Why does every guy I start to like disappear?”, “What can I do to make guys like me as more than just a friend?”, “How do I get a guy’s interest in the first place?” Part of me started to wonder what was the catch. And for one of those rare moments in this money centered online world, there isn’t one. Yes he has a book called: “Get The Guy” and can help women during live seminars (I’d love attend one of those some day), but he really just wants to help people find love. He offers videos constantly on youtube and then gives extra written bits of advice freely at the end of almost every video.

I have to say that I instantly fell in love with his videos and let’s face it, him as a person (seriously his more humorous videos such as his remake of the “50 Shades of Gray” trailer: “50 Shade of Earl Grey”, had me rolling with laughter. The behind the scenes video is even better! Seriously, stop reading this and go watch those two videos right now if you want a great laugh!)

Now personally I have just turned 28 and have now been single for the past 2 years. Before that I was in a string of 3 relationships almost back to back, so I never really experienced the dating scene. This has been a crazy ride that has lead me to meet great guys as well as some definitely, well lets just call them interesting guys. Ultimately however, it was just never the right guy for me. As a good friend put it, “A few may have been even amazing guys, but they were not MY amazing guy.” It is after a good year of searching for someone special that I discovered Matthew Hussey. I finally started to see both what I had been doing wrong and what I could change to give myself a better chance at getting the guy I wanted and not just “the loudest guy in the room” as he puts it. Basically, I have often just waited, hoping someone might come up to me and be interested. In such situations, the loudest guy in the room, unafraid to go up to every girl and see if one might be interested is often the guy I end up getting chatted up with. And unfortunately I am also often uninterested in that guy and end up wasting my time out of feeling the need to be polite.

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28 and finally starting to get the hang of this dating thing!

After watching Matt’s videos I changed my approach to dating: I suddenly started to drop handkerchiefs… This is one of my favorite analogies of Matt’s that I often tell to my friends to get them interested in watching his videos. It means that despite the fact that we often think of “old fashioned” as letting the guy make the first move, back then women had been making the first move all along! When interested in a man, they would pass by him and *oups!* drop their handkerchief. The man would see this and think: “Why what an amazing opportunity to be a man!” and suddenly pick up the handkerchief and bring it to the woman. “Miss! You appear to have dropped this.” “Oh! Did I?” and boom! Now he believes to have made the first move despite the woman having been behind the entire exchange. Now personally I wasn’t suddenly dropping pens and scarfs all the time when I saw a guy I liked, but I did start trying to make the first move in fun little ways.

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“Oups! How clumsy of me!”

After a week or two of watching Matt’s videos, I had a fun day out with a guy I had met through friends. It wasn’t a date and I couldn’t tell if he was interested in me at all. I felt all sorts of confused with him as this was definitely a “date-y” sort of day: snowboarding (with me teaching him how as he’d never done it before) followed by going to a Scandinavian spa! So in the spa I finally decided to try and drop a “maybe not so subtle handkerchief”, haha. I let out a bit of a giggle while near the hot-tub waterfall which got him to ask me why I’d done so. I replied with: “Oh I just thought of something…” obviously intrigued he asked me “What?” “Well I was just thinking that if this had been a date, it would have been the perfect date!… And if there were to be a first kiss on that date, it would definitely happen in that waterfall.” He smiled and said: “You’re right, this would have been an amazing date… Do you want to kiss in the waterfall?” Blushing furiously I said yes and we proceeded to go under the waterfall and kiss. I’ll admit I’d sort of rehearsed my speech about 50 times in my head before finally saying it out loud. And that is actually also part of what you learn with Matt! That preparation can make incredible moments happen if you use that preparation and make it seem impromptu.

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Not us, but I like to imagine it was close enough.

Another time,  I was in a bar having a drink with friends when I noticed a cute guy talking to someone I already knew. I asked: “Who’s that?” and was told his name (let’s call him Joey) and that he was a bartender at this bar but that this was his night off. I decided to approach him a few minutes later already armed with a secret weapon. I started off fairly bold: “Hi! You’re Joey right?” (slight surprise and sudden interest), “Yeah and you are?” “I’m Catherine, nice to meet you!” After a bit of chatting that seemed to be going really well, I suddenly pulled out my secret weapon, a piece of paper I had written my name and number on. Without letting him see what it was I said: “Before I forget, I thought I’d give you this…” And then slipped the number into the front pocket of his shirt. “It’s my number by the way.” (Apparently had I not said that last bit I would have been very smooth. However, I’m obviously still not perfect at this and I did feel a bit nervous at my suddenly ballzy move, haha). He seemed to take that very well with pleasant surprise on his face. I then told him I should probably get back to my friends but perhaps we could talk again soon. Well I apparently got his attention as he came to find me again to talk that night and then I got a call the next day asking me out on a date. Damn Matthew! You really have made me see a whole new side to all this!

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Trying to look cool 😀 haha

I have also started seeing all the little things I have done so very wrong in the past. I am such an open book that I tend to tell a guy anything and everything very quickly. Thus solving the Rubix cube that is me and making me a little less interesting to go on a second date with. I should probably work on making my first dates last less than 8-10 hours, hahaha.rubix_cube
I’m also noticing that I have to trust my instincts more. If I don’t feel like he’s the one, I have to move on and not keep hoping that maybe I’ll start to like him more or maybe we can grow to be more similar. As Matt explains in one of his videos, the longer it takes you to get through the ones that aren’t for you, the longer it will take you to get to the right guy. Someone who has the right qualities and who is in the same place in life as you are.

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Don’t expect Prince Charming to suddenly come riding in on a white horse though 😛

 

I could honestly go on and on with all the little tips and tricks I have gotten out of his videos. But I would suggest you just go and watch them. I have gotten to a point where if I’m not sure about a question relating to guys, I type into YouTube: “Matthew Hussey ________” (Example: “Matthew Hussey how to know if he’s interested?”) and almost 90% of the time, he has a video to answer my question! He sometimes even has the perfect text for me to send. Seriously, all his advice on how to flirt both by text and live is incredible!!!

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And how to answer terrible texts you receive from guys…

Go check him out at:
“https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HGzFGt7BLmWDqooUbWGBg”
or
“www.howtogettheguy.com”

If I can end this with one thing, I would say that one of the biggest things I have learned with Matt is to know your value and to stick to it. Don’t bring yourself to a lower place just to try and please a guy you might like. Don’t go too fast just because you are afraid he’ll lose interest if you put on the breaks! Know yourself and your limits. If you respect yourself, he will respect you and fall in love with the amazing person you are!7034645-beach-love-photography
Oh and have fun out there Random Readers!
Cheers!
Catherine

P.s. Matt if you ever read this and find yourself in Toronto, I’d love to go out for a drink sometime 😉

A Crazy Challenge Resolution

Hello Random Readers!

So for those of you who know me, you know that I’m not much of an exercise buff.
Hell, I just can’t stick to any exercise! I may try for a few weeks (usually two or three tops), and then… either it no longer calls to me, I just see it as pain or quite simply, I start to procrastinate in a rapidly increasing way.

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So this year, when a colleague of mine asked me what my New Years Resolution was going to be, I immediately thought about trying to do more exercise. After all, it’s suppose to be really good for you and if I had a crazy toned body, it wouldn’t be too bad of a side effect, haha 😄

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Had some fun with Photoshop 😄

Now two questions remained however!
“How would I keep such a resolution? and “What would my new exercise be?”

Suddenly, a challenge I failed miserably simply because of no alarm clocks reminding me to do it every day appeared in my mind like one of those lightbulbs in cartoons!

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I would start the year with the challenge I failed; this time setting an alarm on my cell phone at a perfect chosen time, ready to go off every day. What was this challenge you may ask? It’s called: “The Plank challenge” Starting at a nice easy time of 20 seconds in plank position, then by the 30th day, doing 300 seconds of plank (or 5 minutes for those not calculating).

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But of course, I would not stop there! Every month I would start the challenge over and then add a challenge! That way, by the end of the year, I would have a crazy hard workout to complete! Every month starting off at the easiest and getting progressively harder. By going on a site that offers multiple 30 day challenges, I found just the material I needed to get started!

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Now I can already hear you asking: “Yeah. Sure! Now how are you going to keep this up without giving up when it starts to be too hard or hurt too much?

The answer is simple! I had to find something I valued enough to use as a reward system! I believe that having always loved gaming, I now need such systems to encourage me to keep going! If the reward system in a game is well done, I tend to play a lot longer after all! And I must say, that with my plans in the next few weeks, the inspiration for the rewards system was very easy to figure out! You see, on the 4th of January (we are now the 1st), I am going to Cuba with Christopher! It will be his first trip and my third in Cuba! When we return home on the 11th, I will just have time to clean my clothes and get ready, as the very next morning, I am going to Mexico with Julie!

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If you haven’t guessed so far, my reward system will be based on travel! Every day that I do the workout, I get 3$ to add to my trip fund for next year! If I were to do every single day to the letter, I would have a grand total of approximately 1100$!!! However, if I don’t do an exercise, I lose 3$ to the epic trip fund! This way, I won’t tell myself: “Meh! It’s just 3$ if I miss a day, no big deal!” Nope! Missing a day is basically the same as eliminating the hard work done a previous day! So no missing days! You can take a break when the day is a “Break Day” (the challenges include such days).

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I am hoping to start streaming when my gaming pc is finally done getting repaired. If all goes well, id like the stream this challenge as well through the same site.
I will also comment on this post to keep you guys up to date on how it’s going 😉

I invite any of you who are up for a challenge and who believe they too may need a bit more exercise in their lives, to try and follow this Crazy Challenge with me!

Here are the basic guide lines to the challenge:

January: Plank Challenge
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February: Plank + Easy Squats Challenge
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March: Plank + Easy Squats + Easy Pushups Challenge
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April: Plank + Easy Squats + Easy Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4
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May: Plank + Easy Squats + Easy Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge Challenge
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June: Plank + Easy Squats + Easy Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits Challenge
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July: Plank + Hard Squats + Easy Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits Challenge
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August: Plank + Hard Squats + Hard PushupsAbs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits Challenge
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September: Plank + Hard Squats + Hard Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits +Little Black Dress Challenge 1 choice of 3
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October: Plank + Hard Squats + Hard Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits +LBD Challenge 1 choice of 3 + Beach Body Challenge 1 choice of 2
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November: Plank + Hard Squats + Hard Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits +LBD Challenge 2 choice of 3 + Beach Body Challenge 1 choice of 2
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December: Plank + Extreme Squats + Hard Pushups + Abs Challenge 2 choices of 4 + Lunge + Splits +LBD Challenge 2 choice of 3 + Beach Body Challenge 1 choice of 2
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You can choose to do all your exercises at once or throughout the day (the importance is that you do them all).
You also don’t have to do all of one exercise at once.
You can separate it into reps!

Here are two examples for the 21st of March (150 second plank, 125 Squats, 15 pushups)
Example 1 –>  (50 second plank, 42 squats, 5 pushups = 1 rep) x 3
Example 2 –> (1.5 minute plank, 75 squats, 10 pushups) then (1 minute plank, 50 squats, 5 pushups)

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I also recommend that if going back to zero is too easy, you chose a place to start and keep it at that level until the day where it goes up in challenge.
(For example: In February I didn’t want to start back my plank at 20 seconds. so I started back at 60 seconds until day 12 where it started going up to 90 seconds…)

gg64784015Your choice! There are many ways of achieving the same results!
At the very end, anyone who did this with me and who wants to join up for a trip together somewhere in the south at an all inclusive resort is invited!
Should be a blast!

Good luck Random Readers!
Happy New Year!
Catherine

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Emotional Boredom

“A Dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep…”

Why do I love tv shows so much?
Why do I get hooked to characters?
Why is it that I really want to be an actresse?

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Its not the fame nor the money… Cause that wont come. Perhaps its the fact that thoses things (fame and money) are possible dreams? Well thats a possibility in and of itself isnt it?

But I honestly dont believe that to be it.

If I were to dive back to the one thing that makes me me. The one thing that has stuck in me from the moment I were a small child and has kept me as I am today… Its that Im a dreamer. A daydreamer. An all time dreamer.

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I dont wake up to reality… not really.
I stay in the hope that thoses dreams could one day come true.

*But then dive deeper.*

Why do I love dreams so much?
I mean I even enjoy nightmares. And that has always made me believe that it was because they made me feel deep emotions. Emotions I havent felt yet. Scary, terrible, intense emotions that I honestly dont want to feel in real life. The death of a loved one, torture, rape, my own death… I dive into thoses terrible emotions that I would feel in such a circumstance and somewhat revel in it’s intensity; safely in my own mind.

dark-mac-wallpapers-last-scary-dream1 *yeah Im weird XD*

Doesnt television and movies do that though? Dont we watch television and movies to escape reality and experience something intense and magical? To escape monotony, we go and watch other people experience something intense in the safety of our own couches or cinema chairs…

*But why do we try to escape so much?*

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*Personally, I call this hell*

When you look at reality, its really quite bland. You go to school so that one day you can have a job that will hopefully both sustain you and be something you at least somewhat enjoy. You then go to work every day to gain money to sustain yourself and try to do things on holidays to entertain yourself; that it be travel or something as simple as watching a movie at the cinema.

Now when you return to your home after thoses holidays, you cant help but feel like you return to the same thing. The same hopefully not too boring thing.

Of course, the beginning of a relationship can feel movie’ish. You get all theses crazy rollercoaster emotions: fear, hope, flutters, butterflies and love… is it love? Yes! Omg Im in love!!! That moment when you first kiss and you feel like your heart is going a million miles an hour, like nothing in the world could feel so good; so right. That moment when the world feels like its spinning around you and your loved one.

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But then, again, theses feelings fade. Well not fade per say, but lessen to a comfortable long lasting love. Like a fire burning down to hot coals. Stronger than the original flames, but less intense. Something you dont want to lose but that doesnt make your heart go wild every time he simply looks at you.

A kiss becomes a peck, a hug simply a nice comfortable gesture. Sure, its nice. But its no longer something that makes you feel alive as it first did. Im certain that’s the reason so many people break up at this point… Its hard to accept that the insanely intense emotions of the beginning are no longer going to be there. That routine and comfort will set in. No more freaking out when that person has turned to simply smile at you. No more butterflies and flutters when you go on a date. No more wild heartbeats simply because your crush touches your arm or holds your hand for the first, second or third time…

untitledJust routine, comfort and boredom…

And perhaps that’s the main terrible enemy that we continuously fight: boredom.
And what is boredom? I wonder if it might not be the lack of any emotion. Yes! Thats it!
When nothing brings you either joy nor pain, anger nor wonder… that is boredum.
The absolute lack of emotion that makes you suddenly wish for something, anything to get you away from that.

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Are thoses of us who get bored easier therefore more prone to feeling nothing? Or is it that we cannot accept that feeling of numbing of our emotions and need them constantly flared? For some, one activity will keep them interested and happy for years and even a whole lifetime. Perhalps for thoses like myself who bore easily, we simply need something new more often like a constant zap to keep us going. And like medicine, we start to need more and more to really feel alive. Could that be why I love adrenaline so much? Because it is the ultimate in one emotion or another…?

I know that I seek out strong emotions. However, since the strong emotions are hard to attain, I will often seek out any emotion whatsoever. And I have found that I therefore watch things to make me feel. I feel quite easily too. Give me a good or even simply decent story and I will delve right into it. Attaching to the characters as though they are a lifeline for me.

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Television shows do that 10 times better than movies as they give you a lot of time to attach to the characters. They make you laugh, fear, cry and so much more with them and for them. Thoses deep emotions keep me going. Keep me wanting to find more.

When I think of acting, it is simply another, deeper, closer way of connecting to thoses characters. To thoses feelings. I often dream of walking in the shoes of characters. However, since I mainly love science-fiction and fantasy, as well as adventure and thriller movies, I know that this is an almost impossible dream. So I hope to experience this in as close a format as I can. Through the art of acting and impersonating a character.

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Perhalps that is also why I simply cannot get up in the morning. I cannot get myself to pull away from thoses dreams filled with emotion and action. In my dreams, I experience much of the same things characters in what I watch experience. When I finally chose (or simply must get up for one reason or another), that is when thoses emotions disapeer and I return to reality. And reality is a void.

If I go to a doctor, he’ll tell me to snap out of it and to face reality. Face the fact that I wont be receiving a letter from Hogwarts come too late. That I wont receive a Pokeball to go catch them all. That I wont hear that wonderfull sound that announces the arrival of the TARDAS bringing The Doctor to whisk me into intergalactic space and time travel. I won’t suddenly wake up to discover Charmed like magical abilities.

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He’ll tell me to wake up and face the real world. Try to find something real to focus my life on. But honestly? Fuck that! I think dreaming impossible things and remaining a silly dreamer is what makes me such a positive person. Because at least I still have hope to experience more. Don’t worry, im not completely bonkers *hmmm must be watching a lot of british tv to be using such a word, haha*, I know reality from fiction. But as when I was a young child, I simply chose to keep hoping since that magic is too sad a thing to lose. That magic of impossible dreams… impossible dreams you cant help but hope deep down (or maybe not that deep) could actually be possible.

God I hope there’s more out there…
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One day perhalps Ill be happy to be living a safe life. Or hell; maybe Ill be living a more death filled life and be hoping for a safer life. I mean I dont want people to suddunly go dying all over the place on me. But I do want to live more. And for me that means experiencing more emotions. The fact that more than 75% of my life involves not feeling wonder and excitement,  not feeling deep and intense emotions, hell, not even just living memorable moments, is unacceptable to me. I shouldnt be having such trouble pulling myself out of bed.

Life should feel better than dreams.
Perhalps that is the “dream” one talks about when saying: “Live the dream”. Perhalps it isnt just having a regular, comfortable, boring life. Perhalps living the dream is living life fully with memerable moments, adventure and happy little butterflies in your stomach. Living as though every day were your last filled with wonderful, exciting firsts at every turn.
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