Hello Random Readers!
So I’ve been watching a whole lot of Matthew Hussey lately. A love guru and relationship expert who just knows so much about dating and, well, “How to Get the Guy”. Ok, I’ll admit it also helps that he’s incredibly handsome and has the most amazing English accent! 😀
When I first fell upon one of his videos I have to say I was impressed; here’s a guy letting women in on the secrets to men. Giving us answers to questions we have all asked ourselves at some point or another: “Why does every guy I start to like disappear?”, “What can I do to make guys like me as more than just a friend?”, “How do I get a guy’s interest in the first place?” Part of me started to wonder what was the catch. And for one of those rare moments in this money centered online world, there isn’t one. Yes he has a book called: “Get The Guy” and can help women during live seminars (I’d love attend one of those some day), but he really just wants to help people find love. He offers videos constantly on youtube and then gives extra written bits of advice freely at the end of almost every video.
I have to say that I instantly fell in love with his videos and let’s face it, him as a person (seriously his more humorous videos such as his remake of the “50 Shades of Gray” trailer: “50 Shade of Earl Grey”, had me rolling with laughter. The behind the scenes video is even better! Seriously, stop reading this and go watch those two videos right now if you want a great laugh!)
Now personally I have just turned 28 and have now been single for the past 2 years. Before that I was in a string of 3 relationships almost back to back, so I never really experienced the dating scene. This has been a crazy ride that has lead me to meet great guys as well as some definitely, well lets just call them interesting guys. Ultimately however, it was just never the right guy for me. As a good friend put it, “A few may have been even amazing guys, but they were not MY amazing guy.” It is after a good year of searching for someone special that I discovered Matthew Hussey. I finally started to see both what I had been doing wrong and what I could change to give myself a better chance at getting the guy I wanted and not just “the loudest guy in the room” as he puts it. Basically, I have often just waited, hoping someone might come up to me and be interested. In such situations, the loudest guy in the room, unafraid to go up to every girl and see if one might be interested is often the guy I end up getting chatted up with. And unfortunately I am also often uninterested in that guy and end up wasting my time out of feeling the need to be polite.
After watching Matt’s videos I changed my approach to dating: I suddenly started to drop handkerchiefs… This is one of my favorite analogies of Matt’s that I often tell to my friends to get them interested in watching his videos. It means that despite the fact that we often think of “old fashioned” as letting the guy make the first move, back then women had been making the first move all along! When interested in a man, they would pass by him and *oups!* drop their handkerchief. The man would see this and think: “Why what an amazing opportunity to be a man!” and suddenly pick up the handkerchief and bring it to the woman. “Miss! You appear to have dropped this.” “Oh! Did I?” and boom! Now he believes to have made the first move despite the woman having been behind the entire exchange. Now personally I wasn’t suddenly dropping pens and scarfs all the time when I saw a guy I liked, but I did start trying to make the first move in fun little ways.
After a week or two of watching Matt’s videos, I had a fun day out with a guy I had met through friends. It wasn’t a date and I couldn’t tell if he was interested in me at all. I felt all sorts of confused with him as this was definitely a “date-y” sort of day: snowboarding (with me teaching him how as he’d never done it before) followed by going to a Scandinavian spa! So in the spa I finally decided to try and drop a “maybe not so subtle handkerchief”, haha. I let out a bit of a giggle while near the hot-tub waterfall which got him to ask me why I’d done so. I replied with: “Oh I just thought of something…” obviously intrigued he asked me “What?” “Well I was just thinking that if this had been a date, it would have been the perfect date!… And if there were to be a first kiss on that date, it would definitely happen in that waterfall.” He smiled and said: “You’re right, this would have been an amazing date… Do you want to kiss in the waterfall?” Blushing furiously I said yes and we proceeded to go under the waterfall and kiss. I’ll admit I’d sort of rehearsed my speech about 50 times in my head before finally saying it out loud. And that is actually also part of what you learn with Matt! That preparation can make incredible moments happen if you use that preparation and make it seem impromptu.
Another time, I was in a bar having a drink with friends when I noticed a cute guy talking to someone I already knew. I asked: “Who’s that?” and was told his name (let’s call him Joey) and that he was a bartender at this bar but that this was his night off. I decided to approach him a few minutes later already armed with a secret weapon. I started off fairly bold: “Hi! You’re Joey right?” (slight surprise and sudden interest), “Yeah and you are?” “I’m Catherine, nice to meet you!” After a bit of chatting that seemed to be going really well, I suddenly pulled out my secret weapon, a piece of paper I had written my name and number on. Without letting him see what it was I said: “Before I forget, I thought I’d give you this…” And then slipped the number into the front pocket of his shirt. “It’s my number by the way.” (Apparently had I not said that last bit I would have been very smooth. However, I’m obviously still not perfect at this and I did feel a bit nervous at my suddenly ballzy move, haha). He seemed to take that very well with pleasant surprise on his face. I then told him I should probably get back to my friends but perhaps we could talk again soon. Well I apparently got his attention as he came to find me again to talk that night and then I got a call the next day asking me out on a date. Damn Matthew! You really have made me see a whole new side to all this!
I have also started seeing all the little things I have done so very wrong in the past. I am such an open book that I tend to tell a guy anything and everything very quickly. Thus solving the Rubix cube that is me and making me a little less interesting to go on a second date with. I should probably work on making my first dates last less than 8-10 hours, hahaha.
I’m also noticing that I have to trust my instincts more. If I don’t feel like he’s the one, I have to move on and not keep hoping that maybe I’ll start to like him more or maybe we can grow to be more similar. As Matt explains in one of his videos, the longer it takes you to get through the ones that aren’t for you, the longer it will take you to get to the right guy. Someone who has the right qualities and who is in the same place in life as you are.
I could honestly go on and on with all the little tips and tricks I have gotten out of his videos. But I would suggest you just go and watch them. I have gotten to a point where if I’m not sure about a question relating to guys, I type into YouTube: “Matthew Hussey ________” (Example: “Matthew Hussey how to know if he’s interested?”) and almost 90% of the time, he has a video to answer my question! He sometimes even has the perfect text for me to send. Seriously, all his advice on how to flirt both by text and live is incredible!!!
Go check him out at:
If I can end this with one thing, I would say that one of the biggest things I have learned with Matt is to know your value and to stick to it. Don’t bring yourself to a lower place just to try and please a guy you might like. Don’t go too fast just because you are afraid he’ll lose interest if you put on the breaks! Know yourself and your limits. If you respect yourself, he will respect you and fall in love with the amazing person you are!
Oh and have fun out there Random Readers!
P.s. Matt if you ever read this and find yourself in Toronto, I’d love to go out for a drink sometime 😉